Questions you MUST ask so Your Marriage Survives Your Business
Posted by: | CommentsChange seems to be one of the few things we can be sure of in today’s fast-paced world. If you chose to be an entrepreneur, the only thing you can predict in your business is change. Therefore, it is imperative that you ask yourself the following question: “Do you and your partner have similar enough financial, emotional and spiritual wants and needs to withstand the unpredictable nature your entrepreneurial business will bring into your lives?”
Being an entrepreneur is not just about being your own boss – it also represents your personality. Entrepreneurs, by definition are risk-takers who desire to create their own path in life rather than follow the path someone else has paved. Sure, entrepreneurship represents a business model; however, make no mistake about it, your entrepreneurial success and/or struggles impact not only your business but your marriage and family life as well. Unlike a traditional job where you work for someone else, an entrepreneur cannot always separate their business relationships from their other relationships – especially their marriage. Why? Because entrepreneurs take their business “personally” since their work represents something they have created and constantly nourish.
Money – let’s look at the financial reality of being an entrepreneur. Your financial situation might take a roller coaster ride – with a lot of money coming in at times and no money coming in at other times – often being unable to predict the cycle of financial feast or famine. In the start-up phase, you might need to take on some initial debt before your business ever turns a profit. Are you comfortable with this financial arrangement? And just as importantly, is your spouse comfortable with this arrangement? You need to look at and discuss the financial ramifications of entrepreneurship with your spouse to make sure you can endure financial uncertainty together, especially during the start-up or expansion phase of your business. Do NOT assume your spouse knows about this financial roller coaster ride. The last thing most spouses want are financial surprises.
Time – speak to any successful entrepreneur and they will tell you entrepreneurship requires more sweat equity than they initially thought. Many spouses of entrepreneurs will tell you they sometimes feel their like their spouses’ business is a mistress – due to all the hours, energy and emotional commitment the business requires – leaving little, if any, time and energy for their relationship. Are you prepared for the long hours and emotional commitment it takes to make your business successful? Have you communicated to your spouse the amount of time, emotional energy and commitment your business will require to be successful? Is your spouse on board with this? Can your marriage withstand the long work hours and emotional commitment many businesses require – at least in the start-up phase (and often beyond)?
Spirituality/Religion – are you a spiritual or religious person? Is your spouse? Will your spiritual practices be impacted by your entrepreneurial work? Are you willing to close up shop during religious holidays if that is important to you – knowing as an entrepreneur you do not get paid for personal days, vacation days, religious observances, etc. It is imperative you and your spouse understand and discuss how your entrepreneurial business will impact the spiritual aspect of your lives and relationship.
There are no correct answers to the questions posed above but these questions must not be ignored. The answer will be different for each marriage and they will give you a pretty good indicator as to whether your marriage will be able to survive whatever challenges your entrepreneurial lifestyle will present.
For more information on how to survive the constant changes entrepreneurship brings to your marriage and family life, read Chap. 8 titled: “Bending without Breaking-Meeting Hard Times with Strength, Courage, and Commitment” in my best selling book: “Not Tonight Dear, I’ve Got a Business to Run!”
The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,
Dr. Patty Ann
www.relationshiptoolbox.com
www.relationshiptoolbox.com/blog
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Healthy Marriage & Entrepreneurial Success Go Hand in Hand
Posted by: | CommentsOver my two decades of work as a relationship expert helping entrepreneurs create success in their business and marriage and family life – virtually every successful entrepreneur I’ve worked with has expressed gratitude about how their spouses have made it possible for them to follow their dreams. Following is an excerpt from my new book: “Not Tonight Dear, I’ve Got a Business to Run!” that demonstrates this point.
“The benefits for the entrepreneur of having a supportive spouse … can be numerous. Many entrepreneurs view it as the best of two worlds. They have someone who offers advice, encouragement, and assistance, without the legal hassles of sharing control with a formal business partner. They are better businessmen or women because of the contributions of their spouses, and all the profits of the business return to the family. They are truly “in it”, this thing called life, together. Their spouse’s support of their dreams enables them to do the work they love to do. Pulling together to conquer the challenges of entrepreneurship deepens their love and respect for their life partner.”
As thrilling as it can be to follow your entrepreneurial dream, it presents many varied twists and turns along the way. Having a spouse/partner that supports you when your entrepreneurial dream appears to have hit a roadblock is often the difference between “staying the course” and not giving up on your dream. And there are many different ways your partner can support you when you hit a roadblock. This support might take the form of not making disparaging comments and just staying out of your way – or suggesting a different path to pursue your goals. Either way, having the unconditional love and support of your partner often makes all the difference between perseverance – which often leads to success and throwing in the towel, because you get sick of hearing: “when is this business of yours going to start making money” or the various forms it may take.
It is your life to live – however, the life we live directly impacts those we love. Consider the impact your entrepreneurial work will have on your spouse and your family life, and then create a family plan that includes conversations with your spouse to insure success in your business does not come at the expense of happiness in your marriage and family life.
The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,
Dr. Patty Ann
www.relationshiptoolbox.com
www.relationshiptoolbox.com/blog
www.twitter.com/drpattyann
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What Does a Job Description have to do with being Happily Married?
Posted by: | CommentsWhat does a job description have to do with being happily married? The answer to this question in one word is: everything! This week’s article takes an excerpt from my new book: “Not Tonight Dear, I’ve Got a Business to Run!” where I provide a proven system for reconciling your work and family responsibilities. One aspect of this proven system discusses how to create a job description for both your marriage and your entrepreneurial business that ensures success in both your business and your marriage. Entrepreneurs and corporations use job descriptions to clarify employee expectations. Job descriptions get outdated quickly, encompass many unexpected tasks under “other duties as assigned”, or prevent a willing employee from exceeding the basic requirements. Nonetheless, they provide good general outlines so that all parties understand what is expected from each other.
When we marry or make a lifetime commitment, we implicitly agree to a loose job description called “husband” or “wife”, or the equivalent thereof. If we are in business together as well, then we agree to “business partner or associate”. The job description you imagine you have may differ from the one your partner expects of you. Therefore, it is imperative that you write a clear job description for both your marriage AND your business to significantly reduce both domestic and office tensions by forming a shared understanding of your roles and responsibilities at home and at work. To avoid and/or minimize conflict at both work and at home, follow the suggestions below for creating a well-written, carefully-orchestrated job description of roles and responsibilities for each spouse.
If you work or plan to work together, write a job title and description for each of you that clearly defines intended job responsibilities. Your title might be more traditional (head of operations) or innovative (office mover-and-shaker or wife-in-chief). You might divide responsibilities by functions, expertise, working shifts, products/services, client needs, or site of activity, in or outside the office. If your business has identical or interchangeable roles for each of you, then write one job description and add details where relevant.
If you are in the process of deciding whether to partner in business with your spouse or life partner, create a help wanted advertisement and a job description of the ideal business partner. The written word acts as a much more powerful tool than a mere thought or idea. A written job description will help you decide objectively how your partner’s skills and experience measure up to what you are looking for.
If you live together, create a job summary that clearly defines your separate duties at home.
You can detail your own job description as much or as little as you please, but plan to review and revise it at least once or twice a year, or with the addition of children, pets, or any circumstance(s) which require physical and emotional care or time and effort on your part or your spouse’s. If appropriate, create a job description for your kids, nanny, virtual assistants, or any other person who shares the requisite tasks for running a profitable business and an efficient household. You’ll quickly discover that events like the birth of a child, relocation, or a financial setback all affect your roles at home and office dramatically.
Remember, as I state in my book: “Not Tonight Dear, I’ve Got a Business to Run!”, creating a job description does not guarantee that your marriage and your business will not hit stormy seas, but it will insure that you have a compass in hand to help navigate you out of the storm, intact and on course!
The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,
Dr. Patty Ann
www.relationshiptoolbox.com
www.relationshiptoolbox.com/blog
www.twitter.com/drpattyann
www.facebook.com/relationshiptoolbox
Family Planning for Success in Business and Life
Posted by: | CommentsAll business experts stress the importance of creating a thorough strategic business plan before starting a new business. Women entrepreneurs and small business owners understand that we now need to learn how to prepare a family plan as well. Why?
Women do not want success in business to come at the expense of happiness in their marriage and family life and relationships. Following is an excerpt from my newly released book: “Not Tonight Dear, I’ve Got a Business to Run!”
“Women have created a sense of urgency for a family plan as we embrace entrepreneurship at twice the rate of men while populating more seats than men in graduate professional programs such as medicine and law. Women want, and actually demand, a life that creates financial and personal success. For many women, entrepreneurship is the answer to this burning desire and the question to: “How do I create a life I love?” A well thought out family plan that makes certain our business and relationship goals are in synch, supporting rather than being at odds with each other. The old paradigm of keeping your business and personal life totally separate from each other doesn’t work for entrepreneurial and self-employed women (and it never really worked all that great for men either). Today’s women seek to reconcile and blend their professional and personal lives – something which is made simultaneously easier and more difficult thanks to modern technology.”
The family plan is a map as well as a compass for your entrepreneurial adventure. Creating a family plan will help ensure that you and your partner are traveling down the same path, in the same general direction. Thoroughly discussing your business dreams and planning with your family will help you choose the entrepreneurial path with the most potential for satisfying your long-term individual, couple, and family goals. You do not have to sacrifice happiness in your marriage and family life for business success!
The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,
Dr. Patty Ann
www.relationshiptoolbox.com
www.relationshiptoolbox.com/blog
www.twitter.com/drpattyann
www.facebook.com/relationshiptoolbox
March is such a great month. Even though we had such a mild winter in the North East, I still eagerly anticipate the arrival of spring. Spring brings St. Patrick’s Day celebrations and March Madness: the tournament that crowns the #1 basketball team in the country. A famous basketball coach once said that great players win games but great teams win championships. The same is true for creating success in our business and our marriage. As entrepreneurial women, do you find your partner is on your team or does it feel as if they are always playing against you?
Do you often feel that getting your partner’s support for your entrepreneurial business is more challenging than it is to actually run your business? If you feel your partner is less than thrilled about your business or worse yet, he sabotages your success (even if he swears that’s not true), your relationship and your business will have a really difficult time getting along – making you feel like you have to make a false choice between business success and happiness in your marriage.
The relationship tool you must have for your business to thrive is to be in a true partnership – and not a competition – with your spouse. You and your partner must be on the same team – or your relationship will block your business success.
3 Simple ways to know if your relationship is a partnership that effortlessly allows your business to thrive or is a competition that sabotages entrepreneurial success?
1. Partners in business support each other’s efforts to achieve their goals. It is clear they are on the same team – even if they do not always see eye to eye on every business decision made. Marriages should work the same way – you support – and cheer each one’s individual goals – and efforts. Any marriage where spouses do not support each other’s vision for success are not on the same team and therefore their relationship is not a healthy partnership, it is a very dangerous competition. These relationships often resemble more of a competition than a partnership – they zap you of positive energy that would be much better spent pursuing your entrepreneurial goals.
If your partner exhausts you, rather than cheers you on – you are not on the same team!
2. In a true partnership, a win for you is a win for your partner. If your relationship operates more like a competition than a partnership, a win for you is a loss for your partner – and a loss for you is a win for your partner.
This will surely sabotage your business success if you feel your business can only thrive at the expense of a healthy relationship – so your business and your relationship are competing against each other – clearly you and your partner are not on the same team.
3. You feel your partner’s support for your business even if they don’t understand what it is you actually “do”. Let’s be honest, most of us don’t really know what it is our spouses “do” for work but that doesn’t stop us from supporting their efforts for success. We inherently understand our partner’s career success is a win for both of us. Our partner feels good about what they have achieved and we are proud of their success. We also benefit from any financial reward they achieved. We should expect nothing less from our partner for their unconditional support for our entrepreneurial business.
Having a relationship that works as a partnership will catapult your success in some many ways – both tangible and intangible! With your spouse on your team – you are able to spend your time and energy growing your business – and not worry about how your business might be negatively impacting your relationship – or your relationship sabotaging your business. Remember – a great player wins games but a team wins championships! Make sure you and your partner are on the same team and your business and your relationship will grow to dazzling heights!
The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,
Dr. Patty Ann
www.relationshiptoolbox.com
www.relationshiptoolbox.com/blog
www.twitter.com/drpattyann
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What do Work/Life Balance & Unicorns have in Common?
Posted by: | CommentsDo you know what work/life balance & unicorns have in common? I am serious. Think about it for a moment and you will begin to see where I am going with this. Work/life balance and unicorns are both myths – and it is my sincere belief that work/life balance is THE biggest myth perpetuated on women, and families in general since – I don’t know – belief in unicorns. We want to believe work/life balance exists; we try really hard to have “it”. But tell me, do you honestly know one woman that feels as if they have actually achieved it? I don’t – and I know a lot of pretty smart successful women!
To make matters worse, there are so many books, articles, workshops, seminars, etc., out there supposedly teaching women how to achieve this nirvana called work/life balance. And for the life of me – I cannot possibly imagine what the facts are behind these programs and articles being offered up in search of this Holy Grail.
And I have to tell you, women are so busy multi-tasking at the speed of light, doing a million different things all at the same time (or at least it feels that way) – the last thing we need is to be spending time, energy and effort trying to obtain something that doesn’t exist. Isn’t it bad enough that we all feel as if there are not enough hours in the day to get all our work done, take care of the kid(s), the house, connect with our spouses (or significant other), let alone have any time for ourselves – we now have to also feel badly for not attaining work/life balance – which is, quite frankly, unattainable?!
So what is the answer? How do women create a life & business they really love? Rather than striving to achieve something that doesn’t exist, like work/life balance, we need a proven system and strategy for reconciling our work and family responsibilities. This is done by creating a family plan & business plan that complements – rather than competes against each other. This is exactly what my new book: “Not Tonight Dear, I’ve Got a Business to Run! Enrich Your Marriage While Prospering in Your Business” shows you how to do. Order it here now by clicking on this link… http://www.relationshiptoolbox.com/products/book-not-tonight-dear/
The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,
Dr. Patty Ann
www.relationshiptoolbox.com
www.relationshiptoolbox.com/blog
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Excerpts from “Not Tonight Dear, I’ve Got a Business to Run!”
Posted by: | CommentsAs entrepreneurs, we went into business for ourselves so we can create a life we love. We also know that this whole work/life balance debate is a joke. From my work as a relationship expert and entrepreneur who is married with four kids – I can tell you this: work/life balance is the biggest myth perpetuated on women, (and men too for that matter) since I don’t know what. When you read my book: “Not Tonight Dear, I’ve Got a Business to Run!” Enrich Your Marriage While Prospering in Your Business you will learn that entrepreneurial women need to learn to reconcile their work and family responsibilities – not balance them! And my book provides you with a proven system and strategies that show you exactly how to do just that.
Let me give you a sneak preview and some excerpts from my upcoming book – it reveals one of the most important secrets needed for creating success in your business and marriage and family life – and that is the need to create a family plan! Why? When you live with people who are important to you, business decisions are no longer entirely yours to make. What you do for a living, and how you shape your workday, affects all who live with you, or rely on you, each day. News flash: your business is not just about you!
The most common mistake married entrepreneurs make is to rush into business decisions without careful thought and discussion of how their business dreams will involve and affect their family. A family plan is a map as well as a compass for your entrepreneurial adventure. Creating a family plan will not eliminate your romantic vision or throw cold water on your entrepreneurial dream. It will, however, ensure that you are at least traveling with your partner on the same path, in the right general direction. Thoroughly discussing your business dreams and planning with your family will help you choose the entrepreneurial path with the most potential for satisfying your long-term individual, couple, and family goals.
Your family plan involves asking yourself very specific questions designed to launch you and your partner into initial discussions of some of the larger issues related to entrepreneurship and self employment. These questions are a good start toward thinking about your family plan issues. “Not Tonight Dear, I’ve Got a Business to Run!” walks you through a proven system and strategy that begins with these family planning discussions. The book continues to go into more depth that enables you to prepare and create a thorough family plan essential for success in your marriage and family life as you pursue your entrepreneurial business.
The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,
Dr. Patty Ann
www.relationshiptoolbox.com
www.relationshiptoolbox.com/blog
www.twitter.com/drpattyann
www.facebook.com/relationshiptoolbox
Are you Ready to deal with this in BOTH Your Business and Your Marriage?
Posted by: | CommentsThe one constant you can count on in life is change. Change in your business and change in your marriage and interpersonal relationships. And because of this fact, every entrepreneur must ask themselves if their relationship can survive the changes of their business – and can their business survive the changes in their marriage? Are your financial, emotional and spiritual wants and needs similar enough to withstand the unpredictability entrepreneurship will bring into your lives?
Being an entrepreneur is not just about being your own boss – it represents who you are as an individual. Entrepreneurs are risk-takers who desire to create their own path in life rather than follow the path someone else has paved. Sure, entrepreneurship represents a business path; however your entrepreneurial success and/or struggles impact not only your business but your entire life – and your marriage. Unlike a traditional job where you work for someone else, an entrepreneur cannot always separate their business from their other relationships – especially their marriage. Why? Because entrepreneurs take their business “personally” because their work is something they have created and own.
This constant change will have a very strong impact on your financial, emotional and spiritual life – and that of your spouses’. Your financial situation might take a roller coaster ride – with a lot of money coming in at times and no money coming in at other times – and many times you will be unable to predict this financial feast and/or famine. You might need to take on some debt for awhile before your business ever turns a profit. Are you comfortable with this financial arrangement? And just as importantly, is your spouse comfortable with this arrangement? You need to look at and discuss the financial ramifications of entrepreneurship with your spouse to make sure you can endure potential financial uncertainty together. Do NOT assume your spouse knows about this financial roller coaster ride. The one thing most people do not like in life are financial surprises.
Speak to any successful entrepreneur and they will tell you entrepreneurship requires more sweat equity than they ever imagined. Many spouses of entrepreneurs will tell you they sometimes feel their spouses’ business is a mistress – because of all the long hours and emotional commitment the business requires – leaving little or no time and/or emotional energy left for their relationship. Are you prepared for the long hours and emotional commitment it takes to make your business successful? Have you communicated to your spouse the amount of time, emotional energy and commitment your business will require to be successful? Is your spouse on board with this? Can your marriage withstand the long work hours and emotional commitment many businesses require – especially in the start-up phase (and often beyond)?
Are you a spiritual person? Is your spouse a spiritual person? Will your spiritual practices be impacted by your entrepreneurial work? Are you willing to close up shop during religious holidays if that is important to you – knowing as an entrepreneur you do not get paid for personal days, vacation days, religious observances, etc. It is imperative you and your spouse understand your spiritual beliefs and needs and discuss how your entrepreneurial lifestyle will impact this aspect of your lives and relationship.
There are no correct answers to the questions posed above. The answer to these questions is different for each marriage but it is essential you ask these questions. Ignore them at the peril of your marriage, your business – or both. The answers will give you a pretty good indicator as to whether your marriage will be able to survive whatever challenges your entrepreneurial lifestyle will present to you in the future.
The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,
Dr. Patty Ann
www.relationshiptoolbox.com
www.relationshiptoolbox.com/blog
www.twitter.com/drpattyann
www.facebook.com/relationshiptoolbox
A Major Relationship Tool Required for Your Business and Relationship Success
Posted by: | CommentsJust as a good marriage requires more than love to make it work, a successful business requires more than just a good product or service or even a good business plan. As a female entrepreneur or small business owner, your business, similar to all your relationships must have an abundance of Emotional Intelligence or EI to succeed.
Daniel Goleman coined the phrase “Emotional Intelligence” and defines it as “the capacity for recognizing our own feelings and those of others, for motivating ourselves, and for managing emotions well in ourselves and our relationships.”
Although we now know that our Emotional Intelligence demonstrates how our relationships and our ability to relate to others in a healthy way impacts the bottom line of our business as well as influence the happiness in our marriage and other interpersonal relationships; this was a novel idea not that long ago. Current research shows the use of emotional intelligence in business radically influences return on sales, revenue growth and overall profitability, all in a drastically positive way.
3 Simple Ways to use Emotional Intelligence to Boost Your Business:
- Be organized, focused and thoroughly prepared when interacting with clients on any level, i.e. at meetings, on the phone, during presentations, etc. This will make your client feel that you respect, value and appreciate their business.
- Be emphatic. Listen to your clients needs and remember it is what they need that matters most to them, not what you think they need. If you take your clients needs and feelings into consideration when offering them solutions to their business problems, they will feel heard and understood, and are more likely to become a repeat client or customer.
- Communicate and demonstrate warmth through your attitude, tone of voice, words and actions, showing your client you care about them as a human being, not just as a client. Show genuine interest in their life by sincerely asking them about the important people in their lives, i.e. their spouse, children, etc.
These are 3 simple, yet highly effective ways to use emotional intelligence to increase your profits and enhance your relationships. Stay tuned for more invaluable information on Emotional Intelligence (EI) in future newsletters!
The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,
Dr. Patty Ann
www.relationshiptoolbox.com
www.relationshiptoolbox.com/blog
www.twitter.com/drpattyann
www.facebook.com/relationshiptoolbox
Your Marriage & Your Business Depends on this One Critical Relationship Skill
Posted by: | CommentsNever before have we had so many ways to enhance this one critical relationship skill and yet never before have we been so lacking in this ability. Whether I am working with couples in a VIP Couples Day or conducting seminars for female entrepreneurs, this one critical relationship skill is usually where most of my work is focused. Marriages and relationships are torn apart, and businesses lose money at lightning speed when people fail to do this. I am talking about the ability to effectively communicate. Notice I did not just say communicate, I said “effectively” communicate. Most experts discuss communication skills – this is mis-information. The critical element for success in your business and your relationships is the ability to effectively communicate with your partner and your colleagues and clients – on both a large and small scale.
You want to stop fighting and increase romance and happiness in your marriage? Learn how to effectively communicate with your partner!
You want to increase sales? Increase your businesses ability to effectively communicate!
Below are the 3 key elements needed for effective communication in your marriage and your business. Your success in your business and happiness in your marriage is practically guaranteed when you successfully implement the following:
- Verbal Communication – words have meanings. There are many different words we can choose to verbally communicate our feelings and messages. The more sensitive the subject and/or topic being discussed, the more important it is you choose your words carefully. Be sensitive when choosing your words.
- Non-Verbal Communication – more than 50% of all communication takes place without saying one word. In other words, non-verbal communication which includes our body language, tone of voice and attitude speaks volumes when we are in a discussion. I believe the most important aspect of body language is what our eyes say – or don’t say! It has been said that the eyes are the windows to the soul. This is why, even in today’s modern world of ever increasing technology, business will always require traveling to client sites so we can actually meet business associates and clients fact-to-face. We want to see the people we are engaging ourselves with and for good reason. When we are discussing an important subject with our partner, it is strongly suggested you do so face-to-face.
- Active Listening – No matter how eloquently we choose or words or how accurately we read somebody’s body language, effective communication cannot take place without the ability to actively listen. Active listening takes place when we listen with an open heart and open mind – without our own agenda. Most people, in business and in marriage, listen by trying to “catch” the other person in a factual error. Many people also listen without really hearing what is being said to them, they merely stand there waiting for the other person to finish speaking so they can say what they want to say – and they are not really listening to one word that is being spoken to them.
Your ability to effectively communicate, using these 3 key elements of effective communication: verbal, non-verbal and active listening, will provide you with the one critical relationship skill you must have for success in your marriage and your business in the new year – use them!
The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,
Dr. Patty Ann
www.relationshiptoolbox.com
www.relationshiptoolbox.com/blog
www.twitter.com/drpattyann
www.facebook.com/relationshiptoolbox
