Increase Business Profits When the Kids Go Back to School
Posted by: | CommentsThe kids are back in school and for many entrepreneurial moms this means back to business – big time! The excitement which surrounds the new school year for kids can also permeate your business. For many working moms, back to school provides a reprieve from having the kids around all day long while trying to get work done. And if you do not have kids, the fall is a great time of year to rev it up a gear. Below are some tips on how to increase your profits during the school year, without compromising your relationship with your spouse and kids.
- Maximize the time the kids are in school for growing your business by scheduling client calls and meetings during school hours – if at all possible. This might not always be possible, but offer up school hours first when scheduling with others. (By the way, your clients do not have to know you are unavailable during certain hours because you are wearing your mommy hat – just say you have previous commitments during the hours you want to spend with your children.)
- Create clear role boundaries. Do not try to be a business woman and mom simultaneously. This is a prescription for disaster. When you are at work – focus and concentrate on your work. If you work from home, designate a specific work area that is off-limits to your kids (and spouse for that matter). They wouldn’t be walking in on you while you are working if you worked outside your home – so make it clear they are not to walk in on you just because are working from home. You are still working. In addition, the time you have scheduled to spend with your kids – spend with your kids. Be totally present with them. Turn off your iPhone, BlackBerry, etc – believe me, the world will not stop spinning on its axis because we are not available 24/7, although we often think that it will. Trying to work and parent at the same time often leaves professional moms feeling inadequate in both roles, so please avoid this at all costs. It is not fair to do this to anyone – especially yourself.
- Communicate a clear consistent work schedule– and stick to it. Clearly communicate your work hours to your spouse and children; and be firm on the fact that you do not expect to be interrupted during these specific work hours, whether they take place during the daytime or evening, or both. Be disciplined when at work and do not allow yourself to be distracted with other responsibilities, especially extraneous emails. Emails have a way of zapping hours of productivity out of our work day. Avoid opening emails during work hours that are not essential to your work. You will be amazed at how much more work you will get done.
- Schedule private time for yourself and your relationship. Once the school year gets into gear, it is so easy to go from work responsibilities to parenting responsibilities and back to work responsibilities again, for days on end– without ever taking any time out for ourselves and our intimate relationship. This will produce burnout in all areas of your life. Be kind to yourself and your partner by prioritizing your relationship – and this might require literally scheduling personal time and date nights into your calendar. Please do so – you, and your relationship deserve it.
John Maxwell discusses how people who are happy and successful at home find that happiness and success in other areas of their life come easy. The foundation for our ability to take care of others begins with our ability to take care of ourselves – and our most important relationships.
The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,
Dr. Patty Ann
www.relationshiptoolbox.com
www.relationshiptoolbox.com/blog
www.twitter.com/drpattyann
www.facebook.com/relationshiptoolbox
3 Secrets to Survive a Storm in your Business and your Relationships
Posted by: | CommentsMeeting business challenges successfully requires the same tools necessary for meeting the challenges of our relationships successfully. Things are relatively easy when all goes according to plan. Business is humming along and we feel emotionally in synch with our partner. When things do not go according to plan, however, the sea of emotions begin to churn and, if left unchecked, wrecks havoc in our business and our romantic relationship.
As we all know, the only thing in life – and business – we can count on is change. Following are 3 secrets guaranteed to help you survive and thrive when your business and relationships do not go according to plan and change comes upon you with a vengeance!
- Commitment – your sense of commitment to your business and your intimate relationship must not falter. All businesses go through challenging times, just as all relationships have their ups and downs. During the difficult times is when your commitment and belief in your business and your relationship must not falter. It is easy to be committed to something when things are going smoothly, but real commitment is tested when things are not going according to plan. When things are difficult, being steadfast in your heart and mind to your business and your relationship will be key to weathering these difficult times.
- Communication – the ability to effectively communicate is perhaps never more essential than during stormy times – in business and your romantic relationships. Clear, effective communication with clients, partners etc., will be the cornerstone for navigating yourself out of stormy seas. New strategies can be developed for your business, and compromise and negotiation can be reached in your relationship, only through effective communication. The stormier the challenge, the more imperative effective communication will be.
- Flexibility – being able to go with the flow is essential during difficult times in business and your relationship. Flexibility will allow you to bend – not break with the winds of change. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again – expecting different results. When your business faces challenges, flexibility allows you to think outside the box to come up with new strategies and solutions. In your romantic relationships, flexibility allows you to let go of stubbornness and a refusal to do things differently, and search for solutions that work for both you and your partner.
Since business and relationships will inevitably face challenges, often during the most inopportune time, the key to successfully facing these challenges lies in your commitment to your business and your relationship, your ability to effectively communicate, and flexibility in your perspective and action.
The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,
Dr. Patty Ann
www.relationshiptoolbox.com
www.relationshiptoolbox.com/blog
www.twitter.com/drpattyann
www.facebook.com/relationshiptoolbox
Conflict Resolution Skill #5 Needed for Success in Business and Life
Posted by: | CommentsThere is not any business or romantic relationship which does not have its share of conflict and problems. Conflict is a normal part of life; it is impossible to avoid. People who run successful businesses and people who are in happy relationships are those who know how to effectively handle conflict (not avoid or deny it). Conflict resolution skill #5, which is essential for success in business and life, is the ability to effectively compromise and negotiate.
Unfortunately, many people associate the words compromise and negotiation with the idea of losing. These people think if you compromise – then you have given up something – therefore you have sustained a loss. This is a very detrimental and non-productive way of thinking about compromise, especially since the only way any conflict can be effectively resolved is for you to compromise on what you want – so the other person will be willing to compromise on what they want. Lead by example! You give a little and you get back a lot. Once all parties are willing to compromise on what are considered to be their acceptable terms, the process of negotiation can begin. But if no one is ever willing to compromise and move away from their original position, a stalemate ensues; this is a disastrous situation for a marriage and a business.
The most effective way to begin the process of compromise and negotiation is to understand your partner’s position (whether it be your romantic partner, business partner, client, etc). Understanding your partner’s position does not mean you are in agreement with it; rather it means you understand their position based on where they are coming from. Understanding allows you to see conflict from their perspective; it also sheds light and gives you a deeper awareness on how you have come to your own position. Understanding your partner’s position makes them feel heard and respected (even while disagreeing with them). Therefore, when the negotiation process is finished, both parties walk away from it feeling as if they have gained something, as opposed to having “lost” or “given in”.
Conflict understood from a positive perspective gives you the opportunity to experience mutual growth and change – a win-win for all. When conflict is resolved based on respect and understanding of the other person’s position, whether it is in your business or your romantic relationship, you can feel secure in the knowledge that your relationship can survive challenges and disagreements.
Conflict can be framed as an opportunity for growth through adversity and resolved through the 5 conflict resolution skills discussed over these past few weeks!
The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,
Dr. Patty Ann
www.relationshiptoolbox.com
www.relationshiptoolbox.com/blog
www.twitter.com/drpattyann
www.facebook.com/relationshiptoolbox
Conflict Resolution Skill #4 for Entrepreneurs, Women and Business
Posted by: | CommentsThis week we are going to learn about conflict resolution skill #4 needed for success in business and life. Following is a quick re-cap of the conflict resolution skills discussed (in detail) during the previous three weeks: 1) acknowledge the conflict exists; 2) communicate effectively about the conflict and 3) take personal responsibility for the conflict. Conflict resolution skill #4 is resolving to make conflict resolution a priority. Think about this for a moment. We all know people who seem to thrive on conflict; this is sad but true. It seems as if for every person who avoids conflict at all cost, there is a person who never misses an opportunity to create it. Regardless of the circumstances which created the conflict, conflict cannot be resolved unless you make it a priority to resolve it.
In your relationships and your business you must be willing and determined to resolve conflict from the perspective of what is best for your business and what is in the long term interest of your relationship. The mistake many people make is they fail to prioritize their business or relationship and get bogged down on the specifics of the conflict and who is “right” and who is “wrong”. Focusing on the minor details of an argument instead of focusing on what is at stake for the business or your relationship from a long-term perspective makes us run the risk of losing sight of the forest from the trees. When this happens, conflict remains unresolved and ill will is perpetuated.
Tenacity is an admirable quality when it provides resilience for learning something new. But when tenacity gets us stuck in a conflict, refusing to let go of it, it can be responsible for leaving our conflicts unresolved – which eventually destroys our relationships and the productivity of our business.
The next time you are faced with a business or relationship conflict that you are having difficulty letting go of or resolving, ask yourself this question: “Is maintaining the conflict worth your relationship or the productivity of your business?” Chances are you know the answer to this question. If you make it your priority, all conflicts are resolvable.
The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,
Dr. Patty Ann
www.relationshiptoolbox.com
www.relationshiptoolbox.com/blog
www.twitter.com/drpattyann
www.facebook.com/relationshiptoolbox
Conflict Resolution Skill #2 for Women and Business
Posted by: | CommentsAlthough we have never had more methods by which to communicate with each other than ever before due to modern technology, i.e., blackberries, iphones, laptops, droids, etc, our ability to effectively communicate is not at such a great place these days. Listen to TV, talk radio and the media in general, when conflict – or a mere difference of opinion arises – effective communication goes out the window. People yell at each other, talk over each other, insult each other and nobody appears to be actively listening to each other. The only thing I ever hear communicated during these conflicts is anger and the fact that nobody is effectively communicating anything! Lack of effective communication usually plays a very big part for why conflicts never seem to get resolved.
The ability to effectively communicate is the linchpin for conflict resolution in our business and our relationships. Last week we discussed the importance of acknowledging a conflict exists, and now we will discuss what you need for effective communication to take place to begin to resolve the conflict.
1. Verbal communication – words have consequences so choose your words carefully. You can pretty much say anything to anybody if you choose your words wisely. The more emotionally heated the conflict, the more important it is to select non-inflammatory words – ones that do not push anyone’s “hot buttons”.
2. Non-verbal communication – perhaps even more important than the words we use to communicate our message is our nonverbal communication, i.e., body language, tone, attitude and overall demeanor when speaking. More than 50% of all communication takes place non-verbally so remember it is really important to be cognizant of how you deliver your message. We have all been involved in conflict with someone where we have said to ourselves “it is not what they said as much as how they said it.”
3. Actively listen – how many times have we been in an argument or heated discussion with our spouse, business partner, friend, etc, and we say to ourselves: “they are not listening to a word I am saying.” This happens when people are not actively listening to each other. Hearing what someone is saying is not the same as actively listening to them. During conflict, most people are not actively listening; rather they are listening with their own hidden agenda – often to find faults with the speaker’s argument or to just silently wait for them to finish speaking so you can finally say what you have to say. In order to actively listen we need to listen with an open mind and an open heart. Try not to interrupt and make every effort to honestly listen to their side of the conflict. Understanding one’s side of an issue doesn’t mean you agree with them, but it can become a starting point for compromise and negotiation.
The ability to effectively communicate is the single most important variable that dictates the overall quality of our lives – and without it, conflict in your business and marriage will never be resolved.
The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,
Dr. Patty Ann
www.relationshiptoolbox.com
www.relationshiptoolbox.com/blog
www.twitter.com/drpattyann
www.facebook.com/relationshiptoolbox
5 Conflict Resolution Skills to End Fireworks for Women and Business
Posted by: | CommentsConflict between people can be seen in very general terms – as a fight or battle. The word conflict may lead you to think of a nasty fight with your spouse, or a mild argument between business partners. Regardless of how mild or severe, most conflicts in marriage and business are rooted in power struggles. In other words, who gets to make the decisions in the family and in the business?
Conflict arises from many sources but at its core, conflict stems from differences – whether these differences reflect disagreement over values, motivations, perceptions, ideas, desires or goals. In marriage, and in business, these differences may appear trivial until they trigger a strong personal feeling, or a deep personal need to feel respected, valued, secure, or a need for greater intimacy.
Conflict is an inevitable part of life; many people view conflict in negative terms. I find it helpful to think of conflict from a positive perspective since conflict provides your marriage and your business with the opportunity for growth. Conflict presents an opportunity to develop deeper more meaningful relationships based on the ability to understand and respect differences – creating trust. When you can successfully resolve conflict in any relationship- either your marriage or your business – trust builds and it is trust which is the foundation for success in your business and your marriage.
Below are 5 Tools for Conflict Resolution that apply as equally to your business as it does to your marriage.
1. Acknowledge the conflict exists – sounds like common sense; however, I have seen marriages fall apart because either one, or both partner(s) refused to acknowledge the existence of a problem; many businesses have declined for failure to recognize a conflict within the organization or a conflict between what the client wants and what the company thinks the client wants. Failure to acknowledge conflict puts your marriage and your business on the fast track for failure.
2. Communicate effectively – failure to communicate creates misunderstandings and misperceptions. Verbal and non-verbal communication, and the ability to actively listen, will allow for the appropriate sharing of information – minimizing the chances for these misunderstandings and the escalation of the conflict. Be cognizant of verbal and non-verbal cues and address any ambiguity between the two to insure people are saying what they mean and meaning what they say. Use your active listening skills – hearing what someone is saying to you is not the same as listening to what someone is saying.
Note: more than 50% of all communication occurs non-verbally so it is imperative you actively listen for what is not being said.
3. Take responsibility: Many times conflict can only be resolved with a change in our behavior and/or attitude. Yes, often we can be the only person that resolves conflict in some situations because we are either at the heart of the conflict or we are being totally unreasonable, rigid and unrelenting about our position within the conflict. Be realistic and remember there is no such thing as a one-handed clap. If there is conflict in your business or in your marriage – you are as much responsible for the conflict as anyone else.
4. Resolve to make conflict resolution a priority. We all know people who thrive on conflict – sad but true. In your marriage and your business, be determined to resolve conflict from the perspective of what is good for the business and what is good for your relationship- instead of being “right” at all costs. Do not make the mistake of winning the battle only to lose the war.
5. Compromise & Negotiate – Compromise and negotiation is based on understanding the other person’s position. Understanding does not mean you are in agreement; rather it means you understand that their position is based on where they are coming from. Compromise and negotiation is the most effective response to conflict in your business and your relationship because all parties gain something – leaving all parties feeling heard and empowered. Compromise and negotiation can only reached if the above 4 conflict resolution skills are artfully employed.
Conflict can be seen from a positive perspective because once conflict has been resolved- all parties feel secure with the knowledge that their relationships (in business and marriage) can survive challenges and disagreements. View conflict as an opportunity for growth through adversity.
The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,
Dr. Patty Ann
www.relationshiptoolbox.com
www.relationshiptoolbox.com/blog
www.twitter.com/drpattyann
www.facebook.com/relationshiptoolbox
3 Key Factors to Create Success for your Business & Save your Marriage from Ruins
Posted by: | CommentsMany married entrepreneurs make the grave mistake of rushing into business decisions without careful deliberation and discussion as to how their entrepreneurial business will affect and involve their marriage – and their family. As an entrepreneur and a relationship expert, it is my firm belief that a broken relationship is way too high a price to pay for entrepreneurial success.
The individual goals we set for ourselves influence and impact those around us. If you are married, your decision to become an entrepreneur and/or business owner (of any kind) will have a direct impact on your marriage, your children and your family. Your business’ success and/or failure will shape the lives of those you love in many ways: i.e., financial, lifestyle, etc. Therefore it is imperative you include your spouse in your decision to begin – and/or expand your entrepreneurial work. This is one of the best ways to gain the emotional support of your partner when you begin your entrepreneurial journey. If you are already well into your entrepreneurial journey, you must include your spouse in your expansion dreams to insure you keep your marriage and family life strong.
The absolute best way to include your spouse or partner in your entrepreneurial decision(s) is to create a FAMILY PLAN for how your entrepreneurial life will impact your marriage and family before you begin your business. AND just as importantly – you must re-visit this initial family plan as your business grows and evolves. Just as you would (or should) PLAN for how a corporate job that might require long work hours and travel will impact your marriage, you should plan for how your marriage and family life will be impacted by your entrepreneurial business. Unfortunately, I have met so many successful entrepreneurs (especially female) who have lost their marriages while building their entrepreneurial business because they have failed to create this FAMILY PLAN.
Following are 3 key factors you must consider when creating a family plan.
1. Money - How much money will it cost to get your business off the ground? How much debt are you – and your spouse – willing to incur during the start-up phase of your business? How much capital is required for equipment, office space, employees etc? How does your spouse feel about all these expenses?
2. Time Consideration - What are the realistic work hours required of you when you start your business? How does your spouse feel about you having to potentially work in the evenings, on weekends and during holidays? Who will pick up the slack around the house involving household chores, cooking, cleaning, etc if you have to work long hours and on the weekends? Will your business require you to travel? Will you have the time to take family vacations?
3. Spousal Involvement in the Business – Will your spouse be involved in the day to day operations of your business? To what extent, if any, will your spouse be involved in the decision-making aspects of your business? Does your entrepreneurial business support the long and short-term goals you share as a couple?
These 3 key areas of concern are by no means considered to be an exhaustive one of all the factors you must consider when creating a family plan. My goal is that the information provided today will help you understand how important it is to have not just a business plan – but a family plan as well – to help minimize the potential problems that an entrepreneurial business may present to a couple and/or a family.
The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,
Dr. Patty Ann
www.relationshiptoolbox.com
www.relationshiptoolbox.com/blog
www.twitter.com/drpattyann
www.facebook.com/relationshiptoolbox
Communication is KEY to your Success in Business and Life
Posted by: | CommentsAs a relationship expert who has worked with entrepreneurial women for decades, I know that entrepreneurial women yearn to create a business they feel passionate about – and one that makes money – while having a partner who supports them. Entrepreneurial women know true success is found within our relationships – not money. This week’s article discusses the final question of my 5 key questions: “Is your communication within your relationship open and honest? This is perhaps the most burning question of the series because the way we communicate with ourselves and with others ultimately determines the overall quality of our life – and the success or lack thereof – of everything we do!
If you want to gain your partner’s emotional support for your business, you must use effective communication skills. Below are the 3 most important effective communication skills necessary for creating a life you love, a business that makes money and a spouse who supports you.
1. Verbal Communication. Many people fall into the trap of assuming their partner knows and understands the goals they have for their entrepreneurial business. They fail to communicate to their spouse the positive way their business will impact the quality of their life together, from a financial, social and emotional perspective. Assuming and NOT communicating is practically guaranteed to backfire on you. We cannot ever assume our partner (or anyone for that matter) knows anything. Period. We must effectively communicate with our partner – with words – things we want them to know. However, it is not just an exchange of words that defines effective communication. Effective communication is a two-way street between partners; it requires an exchange of feelings, thoughts and beliefs between you and your partner.
Another important aspect of verbal communication is the choice of words we use to get our message across. The more emotionally loaded a topic of conversation is – the more imperative it is to choose your words carefully and sensitively. Just because you are in an intimate relationship with someone doesn’t mean you can throw diplomacy out the window – or just blurt out your thoughts and feelings with total disregard for your partner. Now is a good time to remember my strong belief that you can say just about anything to anybody – IF you know how to say it – by choosing to have your conversation at the appropriate time using carefully sensitive words.
2. Non-Verbal Communication. Approximately 80% of all communication takes place non-verbally. The most important type of non-verbal communication is body language. For effective communication to take place – it is important your body language – and all other forms of non-verbal communication – is consistent with your verbal communication. If there is a discrepancy between your verbal and non-verbal communication, your partner will be confused. Confusion leads to misunderstandings and misunderstandings lead to fights. Consistency in your non-verbal communication is assured if you say what you mean and mean what you say – because you have nothing to hide.
3. Active Listening - notice I wrote the word “active” to describe the listening process. So what exactly is active listening? Active listening is the ability to listen without a hidden agenda. The way you do this is to listen with an open heart, an open mind and an open soul. Let’s be honest. Most people listen with a hidden agenda which usually takes place in one of two ways. The first way occurs when people listen with the intention of trying to “catch” the speaker providing false information so we can prove them wrong (and ourselves right). I often refer to this type of listening as the: “Ah ha, I got you…” way of listening. The second way most people listen is by silently standing by, and although they are not speaking, and appear to be listening, they are actually just waiting for the speaker to finish speaking so they can finally talk and say what they want to say. When we listen either one of these two ways – we are not really listening to what the other person is saying at all; rather we are listening with our own agenda.
The above 3 methods will provide you with the necessary tools you need for having the communication in your relationship be open and honest – providing you with the effective communication skills you need for creating a business that makes money with a spouse who supports you.
This article concludes my series where I answered the “5 Key Questions Entrepreneurial Women Must ASK to get what you want from your business and your Intimate Relationship”. I am confident you now have the necessary relationship tools you need to get what you want!!
The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,
Dr. Patty Ann
www.relationshiptoolbox.com
www.relationshiptoolbox.com/blog
www.twitter.com/drpattyann
www.facebook.com/relationshiptoolbox
This week’s ezine is going to address question #4 of the five key questions you must first ask yourself that will help you predict the compatibility between entrepreneurship and your marriage: Is your partner cognizant of the sacrifices you may have to endure to make your business succeed, especially when your entrepreneurial business is in the start up phase? These sacrifices include the time, resources and energy any start up business requires before it makes even one dollar of profit.
Entrepreneurial businesses do not create wealth or even one dime of profit instantly. As is true for most things in life, success in business requires countless hours of time, energy and dedication long before the business becomes profitable. Just as a strong house is built upon a solid foundation, a strong business is built upon a solid infrastructure that requires hours of tireless work that lays the cornerstone for a successful business. Much of this initial sweat equity does not result in immediate profit. This foundation however, is critical for the future success of your business, one that creates a leveraged, sustainable operation.
So how does your relationship survive the hard work required during the initial, and expansion phase of your entrepreneurial endeavor?
It is imperative you communicate to your partner not only the amount of time it requires to build this solid foundation for your business but that you also communicate the need to finance this foundation before your business begins to make money. As anyone in business knows, it takes money to make money – entrepreneurial endeavors are no different. Most relationships run into considerable difficulty when one spouse is in the start-up phase of their entrepreneurial business because a lack of clear, effective communication discussing the amount of commitment and sacrifice needed to create a successful entrepreneurial business has never been discussed. How can you expect your spouse to support a business when all they see are your time, energy and devotion being poured into it – and it only appears to be creating debt – from their perspective. If nothing has ever been explained to them about what your entrepreneurial business will require of you, especially in the start-up phase, how can you expect their support for it?
Think about the frustration you sometimes feel as your business drains you of time and energy and money – even though you are committed to it and believe in it. Can you imagine what your spouse feels if you have not communicated the hard work required to build the business – leaving them in the dark?
Communicate to your partner what is required to make your business successful in terms of time, energy, dedication and money. This is the only way to insure your partner will get on board with you for the entrepreneurial ride that surely awaits you. Communication is the foundation you need in your marriage so you do not have to sacrifice your marriage for entrepreneurial success.
Entrepreneurship requires enough sacrifices – do not make your marriage/relationship one of them.
The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,
Dr. Patty Ann
www.relationshiptoolbox.com
www.relationshiptoolbox.com/blog
www.twitter.com/drpattyann
www.facebook.com/relationshiptoolbox
