Fighting – or conflict if we want to get a little fancy with our words here – is a normal – even healthy part of any intimate relationship. You know this is true. Unless you are a “Stepford Wife” or “Stepford Girlfriend”; do you remember this movie? The one where the wives were killed and replaced with robots who were programmed to look and act like the perfect wife? Ugh, gross – I am cringing. Anyway, since you are not a Stepford Wife (thank goodness) – you and your partner are not going to feel and think the same way about every issue and/or situation that comes along. In other words, you and your partner – both having a mind of your own, are bound to disagree and hence, fight at times.
Therefore, the trick to maintaining love and intimacy in your relationship is NOT to avoid the fact that you and your partner may be angry with each other or feel differently about some issues; rather it is to bring these angry and/or differing feelings out into the open so you are both fully aware of them. And this is where tip #1 begins – communication.
1. Communicate your feelings about what is bugging or upsetting you.
I wish I had a nickel for every time someone told me: “I shouldn’t have to tell him/her that I am upset about blah, blah, blah (whatever it is the person is upset about) – he/she should know. HELLO?! Well maybe he/she should know- but so what? If they don’t know – tell them. Your relationship is not a game – with a winner or loser. You don’t want to go there. Your relationship is a partnership – so act like it is and communicate your feelings – There is too much at stake to be playing a guessing game.
Texting, instant messaging, blackberry messaging, emailing are all great ways to relay information around the globe. They are not; however, the ideal way to communicate information in our relationships which deal with emotionally loaded issues.
Have there been times in your relationship when you or your partner chose to “talk’ with each other via modern technology in an attempt to actually avoid having to communicate with them? If so, please tell us how this might have created more harm than good in your relationship.
Building Together A Relationship Filled With Love, Health & Wealth,
Have you seen this video clip from David Letterman show last night about someone trying to blackmail him:
When I watched this I didn’t know if it was serious or a joke for most of the clip. I found it strange how he chose to communicate this situation in his life. If he communicated this story to his wife in the same manner, what do you think the chances are for his relationship? I’d love to hear your thoughts on this clip.
Building Together A Relationship Filled With Love, Health & Wealth,
For tips and tools on effectively communicating in your relationship, be sure to sign up for my weekly ezine Two Hearts Beating As One™ at www.relationshiptoolbox.com.
The importance of being able to see someone’s eyes when you are having a conversation with them is the discussion of this week’s relationship advice e-zine.
Without a doubt, a picture paints a thousand words. I also firmly believe the eyes are the window to the soul.
Do you agree or disagree with this statement. Please explain your answer.
Building Together A Relationship Filled With Love, Health & Wealth,
This week’s relationship advice e-zine talks about how listening plays a key role when communicating with our partner.
Have there been times when you have caught yourself trying to listen to what your partner was saying to you, only to realize, oops, I didn’t hear a single word they said. (I must have gotten caught up checking my email instead).
Discuss moments when you caught yourself distracted from listening to your partner, and what you did to re-focus your attention so you could effectively listen to what your partner was speaking with you about.
Building Together A Relationship Filled With Love, Health & Wealth,
Relationship expert, Dr. Patty Ann, publishes the "Two Hearts Beating As One™" weekly ezine. If you are ready for Building Together A Relationship Filled With Love, Health & Wealth click here
