Fighting – or conflict if we want to get a little fancy with our words here – is a normal – even healthy part of any intimate relationship. You know this is true. Unless you are a “Stepford Wife” or “Stepford Girlfriend”; do you remember this movie? The one where the wives were killed and replaced with robots who were programmed to look and act like the perfect wife? Ugh, gross – I am cringing. Anyway, since you are not a Stepford Wife (thank goodness) – you and your partner are not going to feel and think the same way about every issue and/or situation that comes along. In other words, you and your partner – both having a mind of your own, are bound to disagree and hence, fight at times.
Therefore, the trick to maintaining love and intimacy in your relationship is NOT to avoid the fact that you and your partner may be angry with each other or feel differently about some issues; rather it is to bring these angry and/or differing feelings out into the open so you are both fully aware of them. And this is where tip #1 begins – communication.
1. Communicate your feelings about what is bugging or upsetting you.
I wish I had a nickel for every time someone told me: “I shouldn’t have to tell him/her that I am upset about blah, blah, blah (whatever it is the person is upset about) – he/she should know. HELLO?! Well maybe he/she should know- but so what? If they don’t know – tell them. Your relationship is not a game – with a winner or loser. You don’t want to go there. Your relationship is a partnership – so act like it is and communicate your feelings – There is too much at stake to be playing a guessing game.
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This week’s relationship advice e-zine talks about the value of setting realistic expectations for your relationship.
It is great to set high expectations for your life. If you do not expect anything out of life that is exactly what you will get – nothing. The same is true for your relationship. We should have high expectations for our relationship; however, these expectations must be grounded in reality.
Share with us how you developed the expectations you have for your relationship. Did you initially have unrealistic expectations that you had to change? Or were your expectations for your relationship grounded in reality all along?
Building Together A Relationship Filled With Love, Health & Wealth,
Dr. Patty Ann
www.relationshiptoolbox.com
Summertime and the living is easy. By now you know how much my husband and I (and my whole family for that matter) love the beach. Whether we are taking a walk together or just lying on a chair soaking in the beautiful sun rays, the beach has always been a place where we can put our worries aside and just chill!
Even if the summer is not your favorite season or the beach is not your favorite spot, share with us where and how you and your partner love to relax to get away from it all during these summer months.
Building Together A Relationship Filled With Love, Health & Wealth,
What types of fun moments or special activities do you like to do with your partner to keep your relationship alive and emotionally healthy?
It is really important that couples have fun times when they are together. Planning and having special activities together helps maintain a happy, healthy relationship because they provide a breath of fresh air into our relationship.
Building Together A Relationship Filled With Love, Health & Wealth,
Dr. Patty Ann
www.relationshiptoolbox.com
